The Questionnaire

EDDIE IZZARD

Eddie Izzard was born in 1962, the son of an accountant. He left Sheffield University after a year to become a street performer and has since achieved cult status as a stand-up comedian. In 1993 he was nminated for an Olivier Award for Outstanding Achievement in the theatre. He refuses to bring his stand-up show to TV, but has released a video to coincide with his current tour.

What is your idea of perfect happiness?

Eating a melon.

What is your greatest fear?

Dead melons.

With which historical figure do you most identify?

King Ethelred the Unready, because I am similar.

Which living person do you most admire?

King Ethelred the Ready.

What vehicles do you own?

A Lamborghini, two Ferraris, four Jaguars and a Mini Moke.

What is your greates extravagance?

My use of petrol.

What objects do you always carry with you?

Apples.

What is your most unappealing habit?

My ability to upset herons.

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

The ability to write a proper business letter.

What or who is the greatest love of your life?

There was this heron...

Which living person do you most despise?

Henry II, 'cos he was useless.

On what occasion do you lie?

When writing business letters.

What is your greatest regret?

There was this heron...

How do you relax?

I leave London.

What single thing would improve the quality of your life?

An ability to relax.

Which talent would you most like to have?

The ability to fly.

What would your motto be?

Treasure not, lest your time be forewarned.

What keeps you awake at night?

Cats with guns.

How would you like to die?

In a shoot-out with a cat.

How would you like to be remembered?

"He fought cats well."

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